A time long ago...
Ok, this was a while ago but alot of my posts will be like that, it'll be nostalgia for P-rat B-rad and the goat if they ever read this, but for the rest of u, you can just laugh ur asses off. Any way, this is some crazy shit that happened over the summer. So me p-rat, and b-rad are working at the park and we're like, ya know what would be cool? What? Go camping! Hell yes! Well, it actually went more like this, "My name is p-rat and I want to go camping so I can have un-disturbed sex!" but ya know, it works? Thats not the point. Any way, were like, lets go! So we do. Raya(p-rat's girl friend) and p-rat go and gather up supplies, mean while I'm at work and I'm pretty sure b-rad is too, in any case, Raya and p-rat go and buy supplies(our idea of supplies being marshmallows, lighter fluid, wood to burn w/ the lighter fluid... hot dogs... mmm salsa, ya know, and of course, hard core liqueur!) Well the alcohol was provided courtesy of Raya, and although I'm not a heavy drinker personally, that contribution led to one of the most fucked up two nights I've ever been part of.
Camping day 1, day time: We arrive at the camp site and the goat and I happen to be the only two people who have ever set up tents before, I'm like, omfg, whats wrong w/ u tards, and then I look at p-rat... yeah, he's never lifted anything heavier than 20 pounds except maybe his computer... and b-rad... well we don't talk about what b-rad knows about. Any way me and the goat are setting up the tents, and we're like, what? no hammers for pikes? Screw that, we'll use rocks cause we're fucking awesome. So we both grab big rocks and smash down the rods to support the tents, bending a few and breaking a couple more, but thats all besides the point, any way. We get every thing set up, and then we start up the fire just as it starts getting dark.
camping day 1, night time: Ahh, fire, mine and the goat's favorite pass time on this venture was to poke at it, feed it, and ruin our eyes staring at it. Well that is, before the goat decided that a rum chugging contest w/ b-rad was a good idea... maybe it was vodka... one of the two, we had both after all. Any way. Nicole(b-rad's current gf) sips down some pussy orange flavored alcohol, or I should say drinks down some orange soda that some guy knocked a drop of rubbing alcohol into and called an alcoholic beverage, any way, she's obviously taking it light. Raya mixes a little rum w/ the orange stuff and is going pretty light too, both maintaining sobriety. I, on the other hand, refuse to get drunk, but I'm not about to look like an uss, so I pour myself some rum and swig it down, it is the worst taste I have ever tasted... but ya know I'm crazy and I refuse to drink anything that has carbonated water in it so mixing isn't an option. It was a fair some of rum but I have so much damn blood in my body(note my ridiculously bulging veins...) that I don't even feel the effects of the round, not wishing to hurt my taste any more, I pass some time finding out that our rum is so pure that it actually ignites and I can't help but drain some into the fire. Any way, to the main event, the goat and b-rad decide to have a contest, they both pour 1/2 a cup of rum, and I'm not talking shot glasses, these are big, plastic dixie cups, the real shit some might say. the goat and b-rad see who can down their rum first, b-rad wins but they both swallow the contents of their drinks, god help us... Well it takes about 15-20 minutes, but after that they're both insane, and they only drink more once they're drunk... well, drunk people do as drunk people will, but when they're both insane to start, the results are hilarious. Well to start things off b-rad gets very emotional when he's drunk and attempts to get away from his girl friend for some strange reason or another, well in this attempt he ends up falling down a hill, literally falling straight down on his ass but wait, he's drunk, he doesn't realize he's now all bruised and as soon as he gets up from the hill he sees FIRE! And b-rad makes a dynamic, and very cordinated, jump, as far as drunk people go, into the fire. Now a normal man would be able to tell that standing in a burning fire isn't a good idea, a drunk b-rad wouldn't be able to tell you how to spell his name, so I, being one of the sober people, remove him from the fire and make him sit down while I go get some stuff from pat's car. On my way back I see the goat sitting on the ground throwing pebbles, and then he starts throwing them at me, well, as close to at me as a drunken man can. Now I know that the goat is able to throw a baseball at well over 70 mph but eh, he's drunk right? He'll never hit me, so I stand there. Miss, miss, miss, miss, "you'll never hit me, you're drunk" miss, miss, hit... OMG! I get hit in the head by a pebble thrown by a drunk guy... how sad is that? Yeah, I'm bleeding now from my forehead but ahh well, it's all good. This night is just about over, the slightly buzzed pat and raya go off to have sex and b-rad and nicole go off to have... sleep? cause I'm pretty sure b-rad just crashed. Well, that leaves me and the very drunk, very illogical goat. Now the goat, lacking rational thought because he's drunk, is only left w/ his emotions, so what does he do? He decides it's a good idea to wake nicole up and borrow her cell phone so that he can call Essa(his girl friend) well... that didn't go over too well, apparently girls don't like to be called by their wasted boyfriends at 1am, who knew? Stranger things happen I guess. Any way, story short, the goat is banned from drinking, tune in next time for day/night two of camping w/ the LPC + goat crew.
Camping day 1, day time: We arrive at the camp site and the goat and I happen to be the only two people who have ever set up tents before, I'm like, omfg, whats wrong w/ u tards, and then I look at p-rat... yeah, he's never lifted anything heavier than 20 pounds except maybe his computer... and b-rad... well we don't talk about what b-rad knows about. Any way me and the goat are setting up the tents, and we're like, what? no hammers for pikes? Screw that, we'll use rocks cause we're fucking awesome. So we both grab big rocks and smash down the rods to support the tents, bending a few and breaking a couple more, but thats all besides the point, any way. We get every thing set up, and then we start up the fire just as it starts getting dark.
camping day 1, night time: Ahh, fire, mine and the goat's favorite pass time on this venture was to poke at it, feed it, and ruin our eyes staring at it. Well that is, before the goat decided that a rum chugging contest w/ b-rad was a good idea... maybe it was vodka... one of the two, we had both after all. Any way. Nicole(b-rad's current gf) sips down some pussy orange flavored alcohol, or I should say drinks down some orange soda that some guy knocked a drop of rubbing alcohol into and called an alcoholic beverage, any way, she's obviously taking it light. Raya mixes a little rum w/ the orange stuff and is going pretty light too, both maintaining sobriety. I, on the other hand, refuse to get drunk, but I'm not about to look like an uss, so I pour myself some rum and swig it down, it is the worst taste I have ever tasted... but ya know I'm crazy and I refuse to drink anything that has carbonated water in it so mixing isn't an option. It was a fair some of rum but I have so much damn blood in my body(note my ridiculously bulging veins...) that I don't even feel the effects of the round, not wishing to hurt my taste any more, I pass some time finding out that our rum is so pure that it actually ignites and I can't help but drain some into the fire. Any way, to the main event, the goat and b-rad decide to have a contest, they both pour 1/2 a cup of rum, and I'm not talking shot glasses, these are big, plastic dixie cups, the real shit some might say. the goat and b-rad see who can down their rum first, b-rad wins but they both swallow the contents of their drinks, god help us... Well it takes about 15-20 minutes, but after that they're both insane, and they only drink more once they're drunk... well, drunk people do as drunk people will, but when they're both insane to start, the results are hilarious. Well to start things off b-rad gets very emotional when he's drunk and attempts to get away from his girl friend for some strange reason or another, well in this attempt he ends up falling down a hill, literally falling straight down on his ass but wait, he's drunk, he doesn't realize he's now all bruised and as soon as he gets up from the hill he sees FIRE! And b-rad makes a dynamic, and very cordinated, jump, as far as drunk people go, into the fire. Now a normal man would be able to tell that standing in a burning fire isn't a good idea, a drunk b-rad wouldn't be able to tell you how to spell his name, so I, being one of the sober people, remove him from the fire and make him sit down while I go get some stuff from pat's car. On my way back I see the goat sitting on the ground throwing pebbles, and then he starts throwing them at me, well, as close to at me as a drunken man can. Now I know that the goat is able to throw a baseball at well over 70 mph but eh, he's drunk right? He'll never hit me, so I stand there. Miss, miss, miss, miss, "you'll never hit me, you're drunk" miss, miss, hit... OMG! I get hit in the head by a pebble thrown by a drunk guy... how sad is that? Yeah, I'm bleeding now from my forehead but ahh well, it's all good. This night is just about over, the slightly buzzed pat and raya go off to have sex and b-rad and nicole go off to have... sleep? cause I'm pretty sure b-rad just crashed. Well, that leaves me and the very drunk, very illogical goat. Now the goat, lacking rational thought because he's drunk, is only left w/ his emotions, so what does he do? He decides it's a good idea to wake nicole up and borrow her cell phone so that he can call Essa(his girl friend) well... that didn't go over too well, apparently girls don't like to be called by their wasted boyfriends at 1am, who knew? Stranger things happen I guess. Any way, story short, the goat is banned from drinking, tune in next time for day/night two of camping w/ the LPC + goat crew.
posted by Shadowteer at 11:13 PM
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